Pieces Of Emotion
by Panakeias
Summary: Curiosity killed the cat; in the search of experiencing again his already numb emotions, shinigami Klutz descends to the human world to watch a porn movie; and in his rush he loses his notebook. The girl who finds it, Shizuka Hosokawa, won't give it back until the dead god helps to cure her illness: she's unable to feel anything at all. Based in Post-manga's world.


**Disclaimer: This story is based in Death Note, therefore the concept belongs to Eichiro Oda; even so, the characters and situations are created by me. No money is made from this.**

**Frustration**

"Where! Where is it?"

I search over and over the placed I had been yesterday. It couldn't have possibly disappeared just like that. I look carefully in every detail though the sphere that we use for looking into the human world, but my Death Note is nowhere to be found. If I check every person that attends frequently to the places I went it would take me ages to find it. I have to focus.

Maybe if I rewind the film, if I look at the exact hour yesterday I was in the human world I might find a clue of who took it. The sphere starts showing the images in backwards, the sun sets by the east, cars advance in reverse, things raise instead of falling. The movie ends and everyone stays in the theater, the images go backwards as the scenes in the sphere. But right now the contents of the movie aren't of my interest, but the inhabitants of that silly world who state at the images on the screen. They move slightly, almost in a dead way, they kiss each other... Suddenly I'm once again unfocused! I have to focus, to go back to the moment the movie ends. Of course I was there, placed in the farthest of the back seats, staring, but the sphere never shows the shinigami's whereabouts, it's not important to our world where our partners are and what they do in their free time. I can't see myself back there, but I know I was there and then, the seat. My wing got stuck on that seat, I remember. The notebook appears in the image, it had fallen on the floor to become part of that world. And I quit the auditorium into oblivion, I almost want to scream to the me from yesterday to turn, to see the death note I left behind and to pick it for not making the tomorrow me to pass by this hardship.

No, I left the room and up until now I noticed I had lost my note. I'm going to die out of stupidity. The image in the sphere continues running, and when the auditorium is empty a single girl appears. She had forgotten something, like me, however she remembered just in time, not like me. I know her, she was sat all the time at my left side, and her expression was pure boredom so I didn't pay any other attention to her. She picked her jacket with unusual slowness and took her time to fold it. She's about to leave when she steps on my death note. This freaks me out, someone stepping on my note.

I yell her to do not pick it. Goher and Lakithra were passing by; they stare at me and then burst into laughs.

"I told you, he's finally loony after watching so much at that shit that's the human word" Goher taunts while taking out his long tongue to point me.

"Meh, poor guy. Wadda hapen' tyou Klutz, whe ave all tyou style?" Lakithra has been always more considerate.

I sight, it's the kind of feeling I don't particularly like to experiment, as if air in our world exist. Standing up, both my superiors seem less important when I look them to below, and they know it as their bodies hunch a little as I face them. I consider my options, to ask them for help, I checked the girl's name, someone could do me the favor to kill her, or to try to steal their notes for doing it myself, a lot of thing pass through my mind as a desperate shinigami.

"I lost my note, any idea."

They burst in laughter again; they say something about that being totally out of character to me. How could they know the way I exactly am? They must think I'm the nerd in our world, the only fool that works every day.

"Ask the old geezer for another, I heard he gave Meadra one for only thirteen apples."

I roll my eyes, the apple thrill again. I shake my head, the Shinigami King despises me, if he knows I've lost my note he'd rather give me a punishment. Besides, I'd have to get the apples foremost for talking with him, which would mean asking permission for going to the human world. I'm about to leave back to the sphere when Lakithra advices me.

"Whe on't yuv go vith Armonnia? He knouvs whadda t'do in thee situation."

I sit back facing the sphere once again, eyes fixed on the girl who took my notebook. I hate Armonnia, I'd rather die here than lower me asking him for help, and Lakithra knows it. But Goher is more straight minded, and since I seemed to have offended her friend for not answering her, she goes directly to me to grab me by the ear.

I have seen that in human world this act can be described as painful, to me it's just a situation of if the ear continues attached to my body or not. So I stand up and follow Goher, who is pulling me to the place I least want to be. Lakithra giggles behind me; she gets all she wants because of her friend.

We reach to a plain where a single throne stands above the quite empty land. As we get closer the shape turns clearer. Justin is sat on that chair since the beginning of the times.

"Heey, Justin! Klutz here has a problem!" Goher screams aloud, she releases my ear by throwing me forward. This makes me lose balance but I manage to stand in front of the jewelry covered shinigami at last. It's curious how this time I'm taller than the guy and still his presence overwhelms me. Justin rests his face on the palm of his left hand, placing the elbow in the armchair.

"What is it?"

"I- I lost my death note." It's shameful to say it.

Justin tilts his head a little further.

"Then you might think it twice before prying in the human world"

What I hated the most of this guy is that he's always right. No one had told him yet where I had lost it, he just knows things. The second thing I hate about him is his slowness. He starts moving at plant speed to take something from the bag he had next to his throne. I fidget while he grabs the bag at inches per hour, as Goher is a fast thinker she and Lakithra leave me to my suffering with an uneasy 'bye'. As if they would have something better to do, as if I wasn't in this situation because of them.

As my inner ramblings continue, Justin finally handles me a scroll, which I snatch to open it. Its contents are several graphics explaining the do's and the don'ts when in case of losing the note.

"It says you have to get your death note back from the person who took it" the jewelry shinigami explains what I'm already reading "you can either ask him or her to give it back or to wait until the person dies and grab it at the moment".

"This means I have to follow her?" I shout just for the sake of expelling my frustration, knowing the answer beforehand, the sole idea repulses me.

Justin shrugs, it's the first time I see him doing that.

"You might as well go with the old man to give you another one. Meadra got one by giving him apples."

Again with the apples. I don't get this mania for those fruits, we don't need to eat and yet some shinigamis do it very often. The old man got elated with it after Ryuk's arrival from the human world. That's right, Ryuk might know where to get the said apples, they're from human world but so far they must be very special for him to abandon our world in the sake of eating them. I tried one once, and personally I didn't find it tasty.

I dismiss the idea; getting apples would postpone my leave to human world, and get me closer to my death. At least Justin is capable of giving me permission to leave without the Shinigami King's opinion.

The entrance to the human world is deep, a duct full of air and energy. Yesterday I was standing on that same border wanting to find what I lack in this sad, dry world, and now I'm in the same spot wanting to never have had desires an afar from my true nature. I spread my wings, they flap a couple of times for remembering the movement, and the place I'm leaving has some rules about flying to. I jump.

The human world is a combination of sounds, smells, lights, yet none of them inspire me the emotion I was looking for in the first place. I know exactly where to head to; it's a simple house somewhere in a residence area in the district humans call Sapporo in the Island of Hokkaido. I fly to the sky, the sun is going down, this means I've been without my note for almost three days, and this is terrible. I sit on the corner of the balcony to peek if the owner of my note is in home. The last time I checked in the sphere she was in that room, but now the place is empty. Humans tend to move a lot, they can't stay at the same place more than five or six hours, this worries me, if the person I'm looking for doesn't arrive soon is less time with my notebook.

At least I enter the room and sit on the bed. This is a human girl's room, walls painted in pink, pictures of the owner with more humans attached to the other side of the wall, images of male humans showing their chest attached on another wall, a dressing table with a bunch of bottles containing substances of multiple colors. I stand up to the mirror and see my reflection, I'm a little stunned since it's the first time I see my image. Up until now it's the first time I compare myself with the ones of my kind, so far I knew I was taller than most of them but that was all. I arrange my feathers, they look sloppy, and my skull seems a little uneven, but there's nothing I can do about it. I realize I'm not symmetrical, one of my eyes is closer to the forehead than the other, and they yellow color with green iris is strange, that upsets me a bit. I pick one of the bottles on the table, it's a glass one, the contents are a thick human skin colored liquid. It smells fine, its texture is sticky, and as everything in my life, is flavorless.

The door opens abruptly. There's the girl, I can read her name 'Shizuka Hosokawa'[1] . She'll die in a far date, which means is bad news for me as I'll have to ask her for my note. She's wearing a school uniform, pleated dirty green long skirt, short sleeved white shirt and a red cravat.

She's shuffling some envelopes she had in the hands, maybe correspondence. She sits on the rolling chair next to the small desk in the corner of the room and opens two envelopes. She skims the text with the same plain boring look she had back then in the movie theater.

The liquid starts dripping on my feet.

"Gross..." I mutter.

She noticed me; she raises her head towards me. Her eyes are wide open; she doesn't stop staring at me. In my world there are some stories about the encounter of a human with a shinigami, but none of them were about a situation like mine, in such way it makes me feel uncomfortable. She moves then, leaving the envelopes on the desk she pulls from a drawer a pair of glasses. She puts them on, yet still she doesn't react in any other way.

"Very funny Yasu." She stands up to face me, I'm completely puzzled.

She smirks and suddenly her expression changes to the fringe of horror, she screams covering her face and to fall straight on the wooden floor. Then she crawls to the opposite corner of the room pushing her knees to the chin and trembling in cowardice.

Now this was I had heard about human reactions, but then she stunts me again. She abruptly stops trembling and stands up with plain expression. She faces me once again.

"Get out of my room before I call the police." And then she pushed me out, not very strong but yet. I grab her by the wrist and she hits me on the stomach, of course I could have avoid that if it wasn't I was too concentrated in holding her.

"I- I don't know what are you playing, but you have something that belongs to me."

She shuts the door leaving me outside. This is an utter offence, I trespass the door to talk straight with her. She's still standing there, this time her expression had slightly changed; she had opened her eyes just a bit.

"Yesterday you picked a notebook, a black notebook from the movie theater. It's mine, give it back to me and I'll leave."

"What on Earth are you?" She removes the glasses and reached out her hand. I flinch when her skin touches my skull; I thought I wasn't able to feel. I don't like it. Her hand goes over all my face and when it goes under my neck I grab it before it goes further.

"The notebook, do you still have it?"

She makes a fist to hit it against her free palm. Then she turns to the bag next hanging from the corner of the desk, she's casually giving me the back. It's obvious she's not even the half stunned about seeing me than how I was minutes ago.

The notebook is on her hand. My precious note is in one piece. She sits on the chair once again and crossing legs she starts to leaf through.

"That's mine. Now you can give it back".

She ignores me, as the pages never finish she gets tired of looking for an end. The glances at the sheets I had been writing on, they are mostly filled.

"No, really, what's all this about? Take off the costume and tell me what language are these." They call me mister out-of-date in my world, it may be because I'm the only shinigami who still writes names down using our root language.

"I don't have to." Actually I had to, it's just that I rather get my note back before anything else happens. She menaces me with ripping my death note, and that's what exactly I was fearing.

"F-fine, fine! I'll tell you...just... don't!" She slams my note on the desk; I hope it doesn't fold any sheet. I sight again, somehow it feels different in this world. "I'm a shinigami and that notebook it's...let's say... my tool of trade." She gestures me to proceed, as the information I just gave her didn't suffice. "I need it to write names down; if I don't do it I'll die"

Using my pleading tone with a human, this was beyond humiliation. If someone of my kind knows this I'm going to be laugh at more than the usual. I sit on the bed feeling beaten.

"Let me process it. You're a shinigami, you're the death. I found this notebook in the auditorium of a _porn_ movie theater. You were about to kill someone with the notebook, that is like your scythe; but you lost it, and now you think that writing your name on it will help you to do not lose it once again."

I clasp my claws on my lap. I'm losing precious moments of life while explaining this to a retarded human.

"Give me back my notebook!" I outburst showing her my line of pointy, uneven teeth to make things clearer.

"You want it that bad? Just take it. I'm a fragile girl, I left it on the desk, you are a monster of...said... six and a half feet? What takes you from killing me and run away with it?" Even if her words are abrupt, she says it in a way it doesn't matter. It scares me a little a person like her, talking in a plain form, almost like lying.

"I- I can't kill you without my Death Note!" and in a mumble I continue "plus the rules say you have to give it to me willingly."

"Why is that?" She rests her head on the elbow, just like Justin does.

"B-because the moment you picked it, the notebook belongs to the human world."

"Which means that first comes, first takes?" She is more sharp than the expected. Now I'm tangled on her horrible plot. "If that's the case the notebook is mine now."

She smirks. I hate her.

**Author's Note: Hello, if you are here it means you read until the end. Thank you so much for this. **

**And well, I wasn't sure if I should publish this, it's my little personal dream and wondered if someone would mind that no actual characters appear in the story. I would love to read opinions ^_^ I already have most of the chapters written anyway.**


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